"That's so weird."

"I know. Just don't stare."

Lunch. He ate his lunch with eight other people, since mealtimes here were in designated groups of nine. The room they ate in was large, open, with scattered tables and white walls and floor.

Thank Jashin the tables were brown...

"I can't help it," Hidan growled through a sip of Gatorade. "It's... ew..."

His eyes were drawn to a couple sitting a few feet away. One of them was tall, very good looking, with long blonde hair that was tied back into a ponytail, bangs hiding his left eye. From what Hidan could see, his one visible eye was blue, but his face was turned so that his left eye was completely invisible. He was sitting across from a redhead, who was very short and very petite, with odd-colored eyes that looked red (but Hidan was sure they were brown). The two of them were leaning so close to each other that it was hard to tell who was who, the blonde muttering something into the redhead's ear.

"What're they called?" Hidan asked in a low whisper.

Kakuzu glanced around. "The blonde one is Deidara," He said quietly. "Redheaded runt is Sasori."

"What's wrong with them?"

"Deidara... he's got some kind of neurological disorder." Kakuzu frowned. "The way he talks is weird. I guess it makes him really twitchy or something. And even violent, I guess, because he took out his own left eye."

"WHAT?!" Hidan hissed, his eyes flying open wide. Kakuzu glared at him, making a flapping gesture with his hand to indicate quiet. Hidan glanced over again at the two of them. "He.. took out his own eye?"

"Yup. That's why he wears his hair over it like that so you can't see the eyepatch. They offered to get him a glass one but he thought the eyepatch looked cooler. He's got some kind of inferiority complex or something, too, because he calls everyone his boyfriend 'Master' even though he says he's on top."

"So what about the redhead?"

"Sasori," Kakuzu folded his arms, leaning forward slightly. "Has a fire fetish. Loves to set shit on fire. He burned his own place down and everything before they sent him here."

Hidan raised an eyebrow. "Holy shit. How old are they?"

"Deidara is younger than Sasori. I think he's like... I dunno... twenty... twenty one? Sasori's about twenty six, though."  

"Ew." Hidan cringed slightly. "So that's like a five year age difference, too. Ew."

"You get used to it." Kakuzu shrugged, and took a drink of coffee. "Not as bad as some of the weirdos around here."

"Like?" Hidan raised an eyebrow. "I'm curious about the other freaks here too, ya know. Fill me in, dammit."

"Okay." Kakuzu scooted his chair around slightly. "Over there." He nodded his head to two people sitting together, thank god not four seconds from fucking like Sasori and Deidara had appeared.

These two appeared mostly normal. One of them was very pale, with black hair tied back in a ponytail, bright eyes with scars on either side of his nose and bangs covering the sides of his face. He was sitting with a blue-haired man with deep scars underneath his eyes which were unearthly greenish yellowish, and the two were having a serious game of cards and glaring over their hands at each other.

"Blue hair is Kisame. Black hair is Itachi. Kisame is obsessed with knives. Those scars on his eyes? He did those himself. The scars on Itachi's face are from him, too. And Itachi... he has really, really bad paranoia."

"Like how so?"

"He thinks his little brother is after him." Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "He sees apparitions of him EVERYWHERE I guess."

"...freaky. What about that guy?" Hidan pointed over Kakuzu's left shoulder at a black haired boy of about sixteen who was tugging at the sleeve of a very pale older man with black hair, tipped green. The boy was wearing an eyepatch over one eye, a pale orange one, and his hair was spiky and messy.

"Which one? The kid?" Kakuzu glanced around. "The young guy is Tobi. He's a bit younger than you... sixteen or seventeen... he's got really bad A.D.H.D... can't sit still for ten minutes," Kakuzu brushed away his own bangs. "He's blind in that eye, too. That would also be Kisame's fault."

Hidan let out a low whistle. "Holy shit." He repeated. "What about the older one?"

"Zetsu," Kakuzu nibbled on a biscuit. "Bipolar. Serious case of it." He cleared his throat after swallowing. "Half the time he's really nice and a good guy but he gets incredibly, incredibly pissy and violent sometimes. It's kind of scary."

Hidan raised an eyebrow. "Sounds scary." He muttered. "So what about them?" He looked down the room to where the blue haired girl and the orange haired guy he'd seen the other day were sitting, calmly holding hands over a plate of pasta.

"The blue haired girl is called Konan... she's... odd..." Kakuzu frowned. "Has a thing for paper I guess. I think she eats it."

"Bullshit."

"No, I'm serious. They won't let her have books or magazines or anything. They're afraid she's going to hurt herself or something... but the guy is... well... he calls himself Pein but I think that's a nickname."

"What's with all the peircings?" Hidan asked, frowning slightly.

"He's obsessed with... pain." Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "Some sort of masochist. I dunno. He did the piercings himself though before he came here and they won't let him have anything pointy now. He loves to hurt himself though."

"So do I," Hidan mumbled uncomfortably. He'd never tell Kakuzu about his own sadistic tendencies, at least not into detail. But pain... he fuckin' loved the stuff. Though it was nothing so elaborate as to pierce himself to bits.

"Everyone enjoys a bit of pain now and then, though." Kakuzu shrugged. "Not your fault..."

"Do you enjoy it?"

"I don't remember it." Kakuzu rolled his eyes, and Hidan felt himself blushing. "I black out and do it in like a daze."

"...oh.. that's right," Hidan sipped his bright green Gatorade again, frowning slightly. Well. It was good to see that he wasn't the WORST fuckup in the place. If anything, everyone seemed so violent... and just plain weird.

"KAKUZU-SAN!" Suddenly a pair of arms were thrown around Kakuzu's neck, and the dark-haired Tobi appeared from behind him, grinning his head off. "I DIDN'T NOTICE YOU WERE HERE! WHEN DID YOU GET HERE! WHO IS THAT GUY?" Tobi, with one arm still hooked around Kakuzu's neck, leaned over Kakuzu's shoulder and pointed at Hidan.

"My name's Hidan." Hidan said gruffly, sizing Tobi up and down with his eyes. Up close, the boy was rather good-looking, with a clear, unblemished face that was so uncharacteristic of boys his age.

"I'm Tobi." Tobi said eagerly, showing white teeth in a grin. "Nice to meet ya!"

"Tobi," A deeper voice spoke from behind Hidan, and he jumped and turned around to realize that Zetsu was standing above him. "You'd better not be bothering these two. Being a good boy, are we?"

"Yes, Zetsu!" Tobi nodded eagerly and let go of Kakuzu's neck, much to Kakuzu's apparent relief.

"So... you're new, aren't you?" Zetsu looked down at Hidan, raising one eyebrow and forming a half-smile. "I'm Zetsu... you must be Hidan... right?"

Hidan simply nodded. "Right."  

Tobi clung to Zetsu's arm, grinning like a little kid. Zetsu ignored this, and kept his demeanor as calm and composed as ever. "Yeah... I thought so... the nurses said there would be someone named Hidan joining this lunch hour..."

"Is your hair white?" Tobi suddenly leaned in, and touched Hidan's hair gently. Hidan half-expected him to pull, but Tobi's fingers were light and soft. "It looks white. Does that mean you're old?"

"S'actually blonde." Hidan blushed. "It's... just really, really light silvery blonde..."

"Platinum." Kakuzu suddenly spoke up. Hidan glanced around at him with a raised eyebrow. How had Kakuzu known that that's exactly what he referred to his hair color as?

"Yeah." Zetsu agreed. "S'what I'd call it. You're nowhere near as blonde as Deidara, though... if you know him already," He pointed across the room to where the blonde and his redhead were sitting. "Blondie over there."

"I know," Hidan said quietly. He didn't understand why he was being so soft-spoken around Zetsu. Usually he couldn't shut himself up, but... maybe it was the prospect of being in such close contact with a guy he knew could kill him if he pissed him off too much.

"So who've you met yet? Just Kakuzu and us?" Zetsu took a seat next to Hidan, and Tobi practically sat on Zetsu's lap, still clinging to the other's arm.

"Yeah. I know everyone's names so far though."

"Eh. I guess you'll met everyone at the meeting tonight." Zetsu said with a shrug, scratching at his chin. "Fuck... I need a smoke..."

"Meeting?" Hidan frowned.

"They didn't tell you? Every day at seven o'clock," Zetsu's scratching hand moved around to the back of his neck. "The group you eat with... it's like... I dunno... your 'gang'," Zetsu used his free hand to make air quotes. "You eat with them, live in the same wing as them... and meet with them every night in a controlled environment to make friends and stuff..."

"Huh...Guess I forgot about the one last night..." Hidan suddenly recalled the previous day, when he'd seen Pein and Konan walking just outside the hallway to his room. "So how many rooms does this place have, anyway?"

"Fifty." Kakuzu held up five fingers. "Five groups of nine and then five rooms for the nurses and doctors who live on campus. They all share rooms...there's about five nurses to a room."

"That sucks." Hidan said, raising both eyebrows. "I'd hate to live in such close quarters to shitbags I don't even know that well."

"Usually one nurse is assigned to two or three patients in the same wing. One doctor oversees it all." Tobi piped up. "I have the same nurse as Zetsu-san. Her name's Nurse Hinata but I can call her Hina if I want. She's real pretty..."

"My nurse has pink hair." Hidan said with a small frown. "Can't remember her name."

"Nurse Sakura," Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. "She's my nurse, too. Can't stand that whiny bitch."

"Don't much like her either." Hidan decided, folding his arms over his chest. He didn't even /know/ the woman, but from what he'd seen yesterday, he knew he wouldn't be able to stand her. "And I don't like the doctor either."

"Tsunade." Tobi's eyes widened slightly. "The blonde with boobs out to here?" He finally let go of Zetsu's arm to spread his arms in a wide circle around his chest, indicating an exaggerated size of Dr. Tsunade's breasts.

"Yeah, her." Hidan nodded. "The whole time she and the nurse were explaining shit to me she kept looking at me like I was a retard."

"Yeah, she's always got that look." Kakuzu sniffed. "Fuckin' bitch..."

"I don't mind her." Tobi said airily, looking across the room off into space. "She's nice to me."

"Meh. How lucky you are." Zetsu stroked Tobi's hair once, shaking his head. "She's a psycho to everyone else."

"I'm sorry Zetsu-san!" Tobi regained his grip on Zetsu's arm, wincing. "I wish she was nicer to you!"

"Don't mention it." Zetsu chuckled. "Consider yourself lucky."

"So..." Hidan drummed his fingers on the table, gripping the Gatorade bottle in the other hand and eyeing Zetsu curiously. "Where does this meeting thingy take place at?"

"Uh," Tobi leaned forward again to speak. "Takes place... um... that room at the end of the hall," He frowned slightly, as though trying to remember. "Very last door at the end of our wing. It's got a sign on it that says 'West Wing Rec Area' or somethin' like that... it's our personal 'do-whatever-we-want' room."

"Got it..." Hidan looked at his knees, turning the bottle over and over in his hands. "How long does it last?"

"About an hour." Kakuzu shrugged at him from across the table, and Hidan looked up at him. The other's face was passive, mask hanging around his neck for the moment with a contemplative look on his face.

Hidan simply nodded, and returned his eyes to his knees. He would have rather much liked to examine the stitches on Kakuzu's face more closely, they were so intricate and delicately done, but he knew that would have involved staring which he most certainly did not want to do... it would probably offend. "So... Zetsu... how long have you been here?"

"Four weeks." Zetsu said promptly. "They can't let me out for a long time though." He sighed, and scratched his chin again. Tobi let out a small sigh as well.

"How come?" Hidan tilted his head. Zetsu probably wouldn't tell him, but he still pretended to be politely curious. Zetsu didn't have to know that he knew already.

Zetsu shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm bipolar." He said, gnawing on his thumbnail. "Nothin' much they can do about it. The commercial drugs they have don't help me much."

"That bad?" Hidan raised a sympathetic eyebrow, putting a concerned look on his face.

"Yea." Zetsu nodded.

"What about you, Tobi?" Hidan leaned forward to look at the black-haired teen, who looked around curiously as he was hailed.

"What about what?"

"...what are you here for?" Kakuzu said, a note of impatience in his voice.

"Wul... you know that already, don't you, Kakuzu?" Tobi tilted his head to one side, eyepatch shifting slightly.

"I want to know." Hidan spoke up with a small chuckle.

"Oh!" Tobi grinned cheerily. "Oh. I'm here because, as the doctors put it, I have a hindering case of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and it disallows me to function in the real world because I... wait... I'm lost..."

"...I get it." Hidan nodded, feeling the corners of his mouth twitch.

"What about you?" Tobi tilted his head again. "What're you here for?"

"I... uh... violence and anger management," Hidan said, looking away. "I'm not dangerous though..."

"I don't think so." Tobi said solemnly. "You seem nice to me."

"Haven't seen ya real pissed off yet, so you're in the clear for now." Kakuzu chuckled, leaning forward with his elbows on the table. "I'm looking forward to seeing you get really ticked."

"Ha. Remember what I said about my mother," Hidan smirked, curling his lip slightly. "Watch yourself."

"Got it." Kakuzu smirked back, resting his chin on his hands. "I'll watch from afar as you go postal on some poor innocent bystander."

"I can say the same for you," Hidan nodded. Zetsu and Tobi raised eyebrows but did not question anything.

"Well, it's been a good chat, but I have an appointment." Zetsu glanced at his watch after a few seconds. "Will see you both later tonight.. c'mon, Tobi."

Tobi jumped up and followed Zetsu eagerly, singing something Hidan couldn't make out.