To Whom It May Concern,

The mission ran into some problems during entry, but the second base has been secured and we both still have our limbs. Expect us by next thursday.

Tell the blonde one hi for me.

-Hidan

---

Hidan-

The blonde one says hello and he hopes the sex is good, because ours... wait, I'm not finishing that sentance... damn you, Deidara... he's dictating me this from across the room, and I wrote in pen, so my fault.

My apologies.

-Sasori

---

To blondie,

I am NOT IN LOVE WITH KAKUZU. NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT. WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL?!

ARGH.

FUCK YOU.

-Hidan

---

Dear Hidan,

Admit it. You're about as straight as the swirls on Tobi's mask. C'mon. I admitted it to you, now fess up.

I was nice enough to NOT tell Kakuzu when we came back. At least I got my clay back. That was damn cruel.

-Deidara

---

Dear whore,

I'm not gay.

Stop it.

And you damn well deserved for that clay to be taken away. It was funny to see you destroy your room and half the lair for it. Were you actually crying?

-Hidan

---

Idiot-

No, no I was not crying, I was pissed off and my face was red. Hidan-teme, you are a complete idiot sometimes.

-Deidara

---

Deidara,

Hidan is saving all of those letters and won't let me see them. He's also acting really pissed off and depressed after he sends the reply. Any idea why?

-Kakuzu

---

Kakuzu-

I think it's just Hidan being Hidan. I honestly don't know why he'd be saving them but it worries me. If he really didn't want anyone to read them, he could just burn them. I wonder why he's keeping them?

And as for the depressed thing- I think he's just sore because I'm being a blonde bitch as he put it.

-Deidara

---

Dear Blonde Asswipe,

WHY DID YOU MAIL KAKUZU? YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM ANYTHING, DID YOU? YOU'D BETTER NOT HAVE. I'LL KILL YOU.

-Hidan

---

Fuckhead-

I didn't tell him anything. Why are you saving all of my mail?

-Deidara

---

Dei-chan,

I'm saving them so I can have the satisfaction of burning them when I get back.

-Hidan

---

Hidan-

Have you told Kakuzu you love him yet?

-Deidara

---

Blonde one-

I will kick your ass. I will kick your ass and then eat what's left over in a sandwich. That's how hard I'm going to kick your fucking ass.

-Hidan

---

White-Haired Moron,

Wow. You really ARE stupid.

You know you love him. You know it inside. That feeling you get when he sits by you? That's love. The times you're extra mean to him or extra nice? That's love. The way you can't stay pissed off at him? That's love. The way you're defending it with your life?

I've seen the way you look at him. I've /seen/ you checking him out. I know that look because I see it from Sasori all the time. You're a destiny-born uke, my friend. Stop playing games and submit.

Dammit. Get it through your thick skull.

-Deidara

---

To Deidara,

Hidan seems to not want to answer any more mail. I don't know why. He's pretty mopey I guess. I think I saw him nearly crying earlier yesterday after reading your letter. Hope to god I'm wrong.

-Kakuzu

---

Kakuzu,

Let me know if things improve.

-Deidara

---

Deidara,

I'm sorry. You're right. I /do/ love him, dammit. And I hate myself for not admitting it sooner.  

I'm going to tell him soon.

Wish me luck 'cuz this bastard's gonna need it.

-Hidan

---

Hidan,

Luck from both Sasori-danna and I.

-Deidara & Sasori

---

Deidara,

Damn you to Jashin for being right so often.

I /am/ an uke.

-Hidan