"Ow..." Deidara winced, sitting up against his headboard with his arms folded over his stomach. Sasori glanced up from his spot on the floor.

"What?"

"I don't know..." Deidara trailed off. "Hurts, un..." Sasori frowned, and scrambled up to join Deidara on the bed.

"Like... hurts in what way?" Sasori asked, brushing away Deidara's bangs to see the other eye. Ever since he and Sasori were together, Deidara had abandoned of wearing the scope, since it was of no use to him until he would be back on missions. It was a nice change to Sasori, who appreciated both of Deidara's bright, pretty eyes on him at once.

"I don't know..." Deidara said, shrugging. "Goddamn..." He sighed, and thunked the back of his head against the headboard. "Ow."

"You blonde," Sasori cracked a grin.

"Shortie."

"Blondie."

"Okay, no blonde joke, no short jokes."

"Deal."

There was a loud, sharp knock on Deidara's door and the pair of them looked up. "What?" Deidara called, leaning forward slightly.

The door opened and Kisame stuck his head in. "Leader-sama wants you both to clean the kitchen." He reported, looking harassed. "He wants it done /now/." With a sigh, Kisame ducked from the room and shut the door with a snap.

Deidara pressed his palms to his eyes with a moan. "I don't wannaaaa, un!" He sighed, and slid off the bed.

"Quit complaining," Sasori chided, catching Deidara around the waist and leaning forward to nuzzle the blonde's neck. Deidara shivered as his 'sweet spot' was brushed and huffed discontentedly.

"Yes, dannaaaa," He groaned, leaning into Sasori slightly. The two of them made their way towards the kitchen, passing Tobi who was crouched on the floor with a litter of shurikens surrounding him.

Tobi waved, but did not say anything and went back to placing the shurikens in seperate piles while muttering, "13, 14, 15..."

Deidara frowned at Sasori, who shrugged and pushed the door open to the kitchen.

"Oh my god." Deidara froze in the doorway, seeing the stack of dishes. "What the hell?!"

Sasori let go of Deidara's hip with a sigh and approached the sink. It was full of water and bits of floating food, which was disgusting. "Oh, dammit," He sighed, rolling up his sleeve and plunging his wrist into the now cold water.

Deidara took one look and gagged, leaning heavily into the counter.

"You throw up here and you're dead." Sasori growled, extracting the plug and flipping it into the other side of the double sink. He stuck his tongue out in disgust and shuddered, "Eugghhh."

Deidara grinned over his shoulder and began to dig in one of the cupboards. "You're doing the dishes, by the way, un." He said, tossing Sasori a pair of rubber gloves.

Sasori caught one of them but the other landed in the sink. "Ewww, Dei..." He muttered, pulling one glove on and reaching in to grab the other. The water was still draining, veeerrryyy slowly.

His blonde partner chuckled, and went to gathering up dishes that had somehow scattered their way across the kitchen. "Do you think Leader-sama will let me quit cleaning once I reach nine months, un?"

Sasori grinned, rinsing out the sink with some hot water. "He'll have to. Damn, Deidara, that only leaves you with two more months to go." He plugged the sink up again and began to fill it with more hot water, drizzling soap into the running water as he did so.

"I was thinking..." Deidara muttered, stacking about five plates on top of each other and pushing them towards Sasori. "How am I gonna... uh... have it, un?"

"They'll probably cut you open."

Deidara glared at him.

"No, I'm serious." Sasori said, looking up at Deidara with his eyebrows raised. "That's the only way it CAN happen."

"Great." Deidara growled, taking up a coffee mug with heavy brown stains on the inside. "Ew... Sasori, sniff this..."

"Why, what's wrong with it...?" Sasori leaned towards the coffee cup, while putting down the soapy frying pan he had been holding. He took one sniff of the mug and then recoiled. "Oh my god! HIDAN!" He roared, grabbing the cup from Deidara and peering into it. "That's BLOOD."

Hidan suddenly poked his head into the door, "What the fuck do you want?" He growled, blood dripping down his face. His hand, which rested on the doorjamb, was covered in blood as well, and he was dripping a trail down the door and on the knob as well.

Sasori held up the coffee mug with raised eyebrows. "What are you trying to do, convert our kitchenware? No more using mugs in rituals."

"That's Zetsu's, now leave me the hell alone." Hidan snarled, slamming the door and leaving behind a smear of blood.

Deidara rolled his eyes, took up a wet washcloth, and wandered across the room to begin scrubbing the door. Sasori grimaced, and set the cup aside. "Ew..."

"Ew is right," Deidara called, opening the door partially to mop up the red liquid from where Hidan's fingers had rested. "He probably just finished a ritual."

"I bet." Sasori grumbled, "And now I'm left only to fathom why Zetsu had a mug of blood."

"He drank it, un." Deidara shrugged. "That's what I'd... ow..." He trailed off. Sasori glanced up to see him wince, arms folded.

"What's up?"

"N-nothing, un..." Deidara shook his head. "It's gone..." Sasori continued to give him a look, until Deidara raised his eyebrows. "I said it was nothing, danna."

Sasori shrugged, shook his head, and began scrubbing a pot.

------

"I...am...so... tired." Deidara groaned, hanging his head. "I need a shower, un."

"Take one, then." Sasori mumbled. "I don't want you smelling up the bedsheets."

The two of them had taken to sharing Deidara's room in the past month. This was such a comfort to Sasori, who enjoyed nothing more then falling asleep with Deidara's hand in his. However cheesy it was, it sure was nice.

"I'm going to, don't worry, un." Deidara grumbled, opening the door to his room and ducking inside. "Just... let me find some clean clothes first, geez..."

Sasori chuckled and flopped down on the bed, watching Deidara look through a pile of clothes.

"Danna. I'm fat." Deidara said suddenly, lifting up an oversize shirt that he'd stolen from Zetsu. "Really. I am, un." He threw the shirt over his shoulder with a sigh.

"Hey." Sasori slid off the bed and crossed the room to stand in front of Deidara, who looked rather perplexed. "You may be fat, but you're the only fat guy I've ever seen look so damn amazing." He reached up one hand, tilted Deidara's face towards him, and kissed the other softly on the lips, and received a pleased giggle in return. Deidara looped his arms around Sasori's neck, and Sasori rested his hands on Deidara's hips.

They broke apart after a minute, Deidara's face pleasantly flushed. "You're a real pretty fat guy." Sasori grinned at him, and Deidara smirked.

"Thank you, danna." Deidara ruffled Sasori's hair and then pulled away. "I'm going to shower, un. Be right back." He grinned at Sasori over his shoulder and ducked out of the room.

Sasori watched the handsome boy go, lazy-eyed and smiling. He was so happy to have him, baby or not. Secretly, he was hoping that Deidara would have a girl, even though he knew Deidara wanted a boy. It would relieve Sasori from the responsibility of naming it, though, if it was a girl.

Plus, he knew a baby girl would keep Konan happy with another female around. Even if all the kid did was squirm, whine, and cry...

..and other things, but Sasori didn't want to think about it at the time. Deidara and he... they would be almost parents. The kid would be THEIRS to raise, even though he assumed that it would be taken care of when Deidara and he were on missions together. He shuddered slightly, and sank onto the bed, pulling off his shirt. The thought of the child being in Itachi or Hidan's care...and... well... it just wasn't something he'd want to consider.